I am related!

It might seem an unusual thing to be excited/confused by, but I am now feeling rather like that having spend some time with a bunch of my Relations. Nota Bene: this is a sad story, wherein I detail my sense of loneliness and distance. As such, please turn on some cheesy mournful violin music to accompany your reading.

Most people of my age, in my experience, have a close family consisting of something like: two parents (possibly separated, which can lead to step-parents, step-siblings and half-siblings), one or two siblings, a few aunts and uncles and at least one remaining grandparent. Very often these people will only be seen at Christmas or weddings, but they’ll be there, at least. In my case, close relations = Mother. No sibs, no Grandparents; I haven’t seen Auntie Maisie for a long time… and that’s it. Some people find it difficult to believe I even have a Mother – presumably seeing me as some elemental force of nature.

On Saturday just past, Mother and I went to Bothwell for a Family Do. Her Father’s Half-Brother’s Wife was having a 70th Birthday which we were to attend, along with the couple’s ten Children, 14.5 Grandchildren and all the associated Husbands, Wives and Friends Of The Family. The last time I saw any of these people was somewhere around 1990, and they’ve grown and bred since. Their collective memory of me appeared to be ‘boy with camera’ and every time this was mentioned I tried to hide my great clunky camera, worn around my neck throughout the evening. My memory of that occasion, a wedding, consists mostly of someone wearing a kilt and being tutted at later for having taken photos at very experimental angles.

Saturday was, for me, something akin to culture shock. As an only child, brought up mostly by an only child, I’ve never quite understood siblings. I see some people being very close and some hating and resenting each other; generally I don’t feel like I’m missing much. But the McGurks are so varied and numerous I couldn’t help but look at them more closely – consequently being almost silent (!!!) for most of the time.

Ranging from Andrew (46) to Julia (20(?)), they are of such differing builds and personalities that you wouldn’t think at first that they are a family. Working in Australia, Abu Dhabi, Spain, studying in Dundee, doctoring in Edinburgh… they’re certainly not stay-at-homes; apparently this was the first time they had all been together for many years. An interesting oddity is that they seem to think of themselves as names and numbers, “Kenneth, he’s number nine,” etc. which is certainly helpful for those of us who weren’t even sure how many there were.

Brief aside: just caught a glimpse of BBC News and apparently 5000+ Chinese people have been killed in some earthquake. It occurred to me to wonder why it is that this number doesn’t cause as much fuss as deaths caused by ‘terrorism’. And car crashes. It’s all so media-controlled, our emotional responses to illness and death. Fifty dead from terrorism VERY BAD NEWS; five thousand dead from ‘natural disasters’, bad news. Thousands dead from smoking-related illnesses VERY BAD NEWS; thousands dead from vehicular accidents/alcohol-related illnesses… well, that’s inevitable isn’t it? And cars are so useful and alcohol is socially acceptable so if some people get ill, die, beat their wives, cause the aforementioned car crashes? Well, collateral damage. Bloody hypocrisy.

So anyway, the McGurk ‘clan’ have left me in a bit of a muddle. There are clearly some tensions between sibs, and they’re mostly as mad as you might expect, but there’s a certain innate camaraderie in places which I cannot help but envy. It’s very hard to express the contradictory responses I’ve been left with, but I think that, overall, I do rather wish I’d had siblings to form that bond with.

Of course, on my Father’s side they’re just as numerous. He was the youngest of eight children, and most of them – long dead for the most part – dropped at least a couple of sprogs, who then went on to sire yet more Scotts… there are certainly second Cousins of mine who are my age, and it wouldn’t surprise me to find out that I have third Cousins who are at least Ollie’s age by now. They’re dropping like flies, apparently; a first Cousin seemingly died of heart problems at 46 recently, having been suffering from GOUT! Since they are clearly living in the 19th Century, it’s no wonder I never see them and feel somewhat alienated.

Oh, apparently Gout is often caused by high protein diets, obesity and alcohol, while cheese has been shown to help prevent it. Cheese! I should be safe then.

So, next time you are irritated by your brother/sister, spare a thought for poor, lonely me. In the meantime I will make some attempts to keep in touch with some of these people, between twitching and trying to figure out how I feel about Families.